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Living Maxwell


The Repercussions of Going on Antidepressants

As I mentioned the other day, there were tremendous repercussions for me going on Prozac during college. Yet at the time, I didn’t have any idea that they would be so disastrous.

What influenced my judgment to go on antidepressants was a real desperation to feel better. And to feel better quickly. Worrying about how this would impact my life 5 or 10 years down the road was of no consideration whatsoever. I wanted relief and I wanted it immediately.

These are the key repercussions:

EMOTIONAL NUMBNESS To be completely fair, Prozac did work in the beginning. The heaviness I was feeling pre-Prozac did go away and getting through the day was no longer a struggle. This improvement did not happen overnight but within the first few weeks I noticed a difference.

Once I was on the drug for a few years, however, a more ominous effect took hold. I became emotionally numb and lived within a very tight emotional range.

I was never happy and never sad. I was emotionally flat and had little feelings for anyone or anything. The only time that I experienced true happiness was when I was drunk.

When drunk, I broke through Prozac’s emotional ceiling and could experience the bliss and euphoria that being sober prevented from happening. Not surprisingly, I ended up developing a serious drinking problem.

I didn’t drink every single day but when I did drink, I could not control it at all and could show absolutely no restraint. Furthermore, blacking out occurred on a regular basis. I woke up many, many, many mornings not remembering what happened the previous night nor how I made it home.

NEVER ADDRESSED THE KEY PROBLEMS Antidepressants were like a band-aid. They temporarily patched up whatever problems I was having at the time but did nothing to directly address them. So, I lived for many years with hidden or underlying issues that never got resolved.

When I went off of the drug in 2001, the same problems reared their heads and undoubtedly worsened.

I don’t believe that issues can ever really be resolved when you are taking antidepressants because it is not your authentic self. An individual’s emotions are being manipulated with drugs. Can it be possible for a person who is in a drug-induced state to truly come to grips with serious spiritual and emotional issues? My answer is no.

PERSONAL GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT STUNTED I feel like my emotional and personal development was stunted for almost 11 years, the amount of time I was on the drug.

I watched as my other friends develop, evolve and mature while I seemed to be stuck in the same place. I couldn’t reflect on what was happening because I couldn’t look inside of myself. I had no idea who I was, what I stood for or what I believed in. The drug made self-reflection an impossibility.

I was in this very flat state of mind, almost robotic. Each day just came and went, and I seemed to be fine with that.

When I went off of the drug in the summer of 2001, I was 31 years old but felt emotionally as if I were a college student.

PHYSICAL AND NEUROLOGICAL IMPACTS There is no way to determine what they were/are. I had no overt side effects, such as sexual problems or anything else.

However, the antidepressants had to have some real impact. The fact is that I, or we as a society, just don’t know what they are yet. This class of drugs has only been around for a few decades and the data isn’t available.

However, it is intellectually dishonest to say that antidepressants will have no negative physical consequences. These are chemicals that do not belong in our bodies and can only cause harm. The extent of that harm remains to be seen.

One of the reasons that I went off of the drugs was that I was afraid I’d wake up with brain cancer at 50 years old because of so many years of taking Prozac.


The reasons listed above are all in hindsight, and hindsight is always 20/20. I didn’t know any of this would happen and that the impact would be so grave. Nevertheless, I take full responsibility since it was me, not my parents, who decided to stay on this drug for well over a decade.

Was taking Prozac the right decision at the time? On Tuesday, I’ll get into this more.

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Living Maxwell


Do I Ever Cheat?

Last week, I was asked by a friend of mine if I ever cheat.

No, she was not asking if I ever cheat on women but rather wanted to know if I ever cheat on my diet.

While I was taken aback by the question and didn’t have an immediate answer, she followed up with “Don’t you ever eat a doughnut?”

“No, I never eat doughnuts,” I quickly responded. That was an easy one to figure out. The thought of putting a Krispy Kreme into my body never ever enters my mind.

The larger question about cheating, however, really got me thinking and this is what I came up with.

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Living Maxwell


Dating Someone Who Drinks, Part II

I put up a post last week about a date I had recently and it generated a good number of responses. During this date, the woman asked if it bothers me to be with someone who drinks.

In that post, one of the things that I said was that I would “deal with it” if all of the other aspects of the relationship were good and that the drinking was kept to a minimum. This response of saying that I would “deal with it” brought an interesting comment from Tancie, and I thought it was worth addressing in its own blog post here.

Tancie stated that the phrase “dealing with it” would bring up resentment and that I should avoid all women who drink if it makes me that uncomfortable.

For me, drinking is a very complicated issue and is not so cut and dry, especially given the fact that I feel so strongly about other things as well — organic food being one of them.

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Living Maxwell


Depression and Antidepressants – What They Don’t Want You to Know

In the summer of 2001, after being on Prozac for more than a decade, I made the life-altering decision to go off of antidepressants.

Despite what doctors and nearly everyone else around me were saying – that I had a chemical imbalance and that antidepressants were essential to keep me going – I believed otherwise. Intuitively, I knew that there was a better way to live, yet almost no one in my support system was in agreement with this line of thinking.

For the millions of people facing depression and who have similar doubts about medication being the only answer, a book has arrived that completely validates our concerns.

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