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Living Maxwell


The Repercussions of Going on Antidepressants

As I mentioned the other day, there were tremendous repercussions for me going on Prozac during college. Yet at the time, I didn’t have any idea that they would be so disastrous.

What influenced my judgment to go on antidepressants was a real desperation to feel better. And to feel better quickly. Worrying about how this would impact my life 5 or 10 years down the road was of no consideration whatsoever. I wanted relief and I wanted it immediately.

These are the key repercussions:

EMOTIONAL NUMBNESS To be completely fair, Prozac did work in the beginning. The heaviness I was feeling pre-Prozac did go away and getting through the day was no longer a struggle. This improvement did not happen overnight but within the first few weeks I noticed a difference.

Once I was on the drug for a few years, however, a more ominous effect took hold. I became emotionally numb and lived within a very tight emotional range.

I was never happy and never sad. I was emotionally flat and had little feelings for anyone or anything. The only time that I experienced true happiness was when I was drunk.

When drunk, I broke through Prozac’s emotional ceiling and could experience the bliss and euphoria that being sober prevented from happening. Not surprisingly, I ended up developing a serious drinking problem.

I didn’t drink every single day but when I did drink, I could not control it at all and could show absolutely no restraint. Furthermore, blacking out occurred on a regular basis. I woke up many, many, many mornings not remembering what happened the previous night nor how I made it home.

NEVER ADDRESSED THE KEY PROBLEMS Antidepressants were like a band-aid. They temporarily patched up whatever problems I was having at the time but did nothing to directly address them. So, I lived for many years with hidden or underlying issues that never got resolved.

When I went off of the drug in 2001, the same problems reared their heads and undoubtedly worsened.

I don’t believe that issues can ever really be resolved when you are taking antidepressants because it is not your authentic self. An individual’s emotions are being manipulated with drugs. Can it be possible for a person who is in a drug-induced state to truly come to grips with serious spiritual and emotional issues? My answer is no.

PERSONAL GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT STUNTED I feel like my emotional and personal development was stunted for almost 11 years, the amount of time I was on the drug.

I watched as my other friends develop, evolve and mature while I seemed to be stuck in the same place. I couldn’t reflect on what was happening because I couldn’t look inside of myself. I had no idea who I was, what I stood for or what I believed in. The drug made self-reflection an impossibility.

I was in this very flat state of mind, almost robotic. Each day just came and went, and I seemed to be fine with that.

When I went off of the drug in the summer of 2001, I was 31 years old but felt emotionally as if I were a college student.

PHYSICAL AND NEUROLOGICAL IMPACTS There is no way to determine what they were/are. I had no overt side effects, such as sexual problems or anything else.

However, the antidepressants had to have some real impact. The fact is that I, or we as a society, just don’t know what they are yet. This class of drugs has only been around for a few decades and the data isn’t available.

However, it is intellectually dishonest to say that antidepressants will have no negative physical consequences. These are chemicals that do not belong in our bodies and can only cause harm. The extent of that harm remains to be seen.

One of the reasons that I went off of the drugs was that I was afraid I’d wake up with brain cancer at 50 years old because of so many years of taking Prozac.


The reasons listed above are all in hindsight, and hindsight is always 20/20. I didn’t know any of this would happen and that the impact would be so grave. Nevertheless, I take full responsibility since it was me, not my parents, who decided to stay on this drug for well over a decade.

Was taking Prozac the right decision at the time? On Tuesday, I’ll get into this more.

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Living Maxwell


Farmageddon: A Food Documentary That Should Serve as a Wake-Up Call to All Americans

Last night, I went to go see the documentary Farmageddon, a movie that I had been hearing about for the last few months.

Farmageddon highlights the USDA’s brutal crackdown on farmers selling raw milk and how the agency’s heavy-handed, corrupt and politically-motivated ways have destroyed the lives of small, organic farmers trying to do the right thing.

The objective of the movie is not to promote raw milk, however. The objective of the movie is to get people to wake up and to start demanding change.

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How Tradin Organic is Helping Coconut Farmers in The Philippines

For more than a decade, Tradin Organic has been working with local partners in The Philippines to bring a diversified range of organic products to the market, such as coconut oil, tropical fruits and even cocoa.

The company is helping to support local farmers by assisting them with technical support and organic certification, in addition to paying Fairtrade premium on top of the organic premium.

Learn more.

Living Maxwell


How Organic Food Played a Crucial Role in My Decision to Quit 11 Years of Antidepressants

In the summer of 2001 and at the urging of my then-girlfriend, I went for an appointment to go see her naturopathic doctor in New York City, the place where we were both living at the time.

Having done acupuncture since high school, I had always been open to alternative medicine and was curious what this woman could do for me.

During our session, she asked me about all of my health and dietary habits – eating, drinking, smoking, drugs, exercise. Everything. In the midst of this conversation, the topic of organic food somehow arose. I remember that I had some notion about what organic food was but wasn’t overly familiar with it.

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Living Maxwell


My Morning Meditation and Visualization

I learned how to meditate in college when I took a Transcendental Meditation class and have maintained a very serious practice over the past 11 years.

For some reason, I don’t remember doing it that consistently in the 90s. Most likely, it was the hard-partying lifestyle that got in the way.

Anyhow, my meditation practice is something that I cannot live without. It calms me down, centers me and gets me more focused. Nothing makes me more relaxed or present.

So, when I get up in the morning I sit and meditate for 20 minutes. The meditation is Transcendental Meditation, which uses a mantra as a way to keep the mind from wandering.

And after I finish meditating, I do something called Creating My Day.

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