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Living Maxwell

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Was Taking Antidepressants in College The Right Decision at the Time?

This is a very complex question that my father and I discuss from time to time. He insists that it was the right decision for me to go on it and doesn’t regret it at all. He also thinks I should never have gone off antidepressants when I did in 2001.  He and my mother were adamantly against this decision.

For me, the question of whether going on antidepressants was the right decision brings up many thoughts and additional questions.

* As I talked about in my last post related to this subject, there were tremendous and disastrous repercussions for going on Prozac. There is no doubt about it.

* Was I emotionally and spiritually strong enough to persevere through those dark times during college? Spiritually, I’d say no. Emotionally, I’m not sure. From what I remember, I was struggling in a major way and I didn’t see much hope in it getting better.

Would my grades have suffered? Would I have fallen into a much bigger hole that I couldn’t have gotten out of?

Would I have made it through my junior year and eventually have graduated? My sense is “yes”. Yet, but it would have been filled with a lot of pain and not easy at all. My college experience might have been dreadful.

* Would I have enjoyed the same level of success during college and after college?

While on antidepressants, I finished college without much of a problem. My strong friendships remained intact and grew. My grades were good.

From a professional perspective post-college, there is no doubt that my career was much better and my earnings were much higher when I was on antidepressants. My 20s (when I was on medication), versus my 30s (when I was off medication), were much more successful.

To be fair, however, in my 30s I was dealing with massive amounts of emotional trauma in recuperating from the 11 years of antidepressants. I was totally unprepared for this all and it took years for me to pull it together. The fact that I didn’t take my life is a major accomplishment. And, it was during these times that I learned how to be resilient.

* Would I have gotten to know myself and understood who I was at a much earlier age had I not gone on antidepressants? The answer is a definitive “yes”. Prozac prevented all this from happening.

This introspection and truly getting to know myself did not start happen until my 30s. Antidepressants severely stunted my emotional growth and development as an individual. This is without question.

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Professionally, I achieved much more when I was on antidepressants than when I haven’t been on the drugs, and unfortunately, it comes into play when I think about the decision I made when I was in college. When on medication, I had some great jobs and progressed a lot in my career. My 30s and 40s have not been good, from a professional perspective.

Nevertheless, going on antidepressants was the wrong decision. It did not allow me to learn who I was and develop that all-so-important resiliency. Being able to persevere and pick yourself up when things are tough is one of the most important skills that you can have. And, Prozac prevented me from developing this skill. Had I learned it during college, maybe I would have had an even greater level of professional success in my 20s, 30s and 40s.

Looking back and having a “what if” discussion is great for a blog post but it is not reality. What is reality is what is going on at this very moment. I went on Prozac in college, went off of it 11 years later and am here today. I can’t change the past.

The other thing that figures into this discussion is this. I truly believe that the reason I am here (my purpose in life) is to share my story about antidepressants with other people. And, this is something that I am very clear about. Very.

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Living Maxwell

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“I Was Told My Brain Was Broken”

In November, I put up blog entry titled The Repercussions of Going on Antidepressants, and I received a comment on this post the other day that both disturbed me and confirmed what I already knew. I thought it merited its own discussion here.

The woman who wrote the comment calls herself NoRx4Me and left the following information:

I was put on an SSRI at 24 years old during a bad marriage. I needed guidance and support, instead I was told my brain was broken.

SSRI’s led to stimulants, mood stabilizers, SNRI’s, and lithium for a short time. I was a mess. I lost 13 years. I have little memory of those years (especially sad, because I was raising two boys). I didn’t grow as a person at all. I quit dating in 2003 and never developed knew friendships either. I didn’t even realize this was odd until I was off meds.

I probably would have responded like some others on here while I was still under the influence and told you the meds were great. With a clear mind and 20/20 hindsight, I know the facts, my life was destroyed.

And they do cause physical problems; I lost a ton of hair, and my teeth are a mess. I look like I’ve aged 20 years instead of 10.

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Living Maxwell

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Thank You to My Readers, Thinking of My Mother

I am in Denver for Thanksgiving and will be heading back to Boston tomorrow. Two things have been on my mind.

1) In case you didn’t know, I am an absolute AM radio junkie, mostly sports radio. One of my favorite hosts is Colin Cowherd from ESPN Radio. Practically every single night, I replay some of his segments from earlier in the day.

Something Colin always says resonates with me very deeply, especially now as I am starting to build an audience of my own. He acknowledges that there are many, many options out there and appreciates that people have decided to spend their time listening to him.

And, that is how I feel. There are millions and millions of websites out there, and I am very appreciative that people take the time to read what I write and watch my videos. I do my best to provide interesting and compelling content, both information related to organic food and specific personal issues that I deal with.

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Living Maxwell

Personal

What are Enagi Crystals and Why I Don’t Go Anywhere Without Them

If you are interested in or believe in the power of crystals, Enagi is one product that you will absolutely want to know about.

In this post, I will discuss what makes these crystals so unique, what Zero Point Energy is, and the impact that these crystals have had on my life, particularly my sleep.

THE BASICS

A crystal is simply elements put into a harmonious structure — harmoniously ordered on an atomic level.

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