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Living Maxwell

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Am I Being Too Rigid with My Dating?

Last week I wrote about dating a non-organic woman and the challenges that it creates. A few questions that I grapple with are these — Is my very strong desire to be with someone who eats organic eliminating many great women with whom I could have a relationship? And, is my rigidity causing more harm than good?

Over the last few years, it has become increasingly clear that health is one of my most important values. Almost everything I do revolves health and eating organic food is a huge passion of mine.

My values are what they are and they are not going to change. The only woman with whom I am going to have a successful and happy relationship is someone who shares this same value. Does this mean that she has to be as passionate or into health (organic food) as I am? No, because she may never have been exposed to this lifestyle and doesn’t know much about it. That is perfectly understandable. However, she needs to be open to this way of living and eager to embrace it.

A former girlfriend of mine, who is the love of my life, did not follow a similar healthy lifestyle as I did and it caused tremendous friction between the two of us. She and I were simply not on the same page, in terms of where and what we liked to eat. While there were other reasons that we broke up, we both valued health and organic food differently.

When I explain my conundrum to my non-organic friends, the common response is that marriage or relationships is “all about compromise.” Or, “why can’t you eat your food and she eats what she wants?”

First of all, I do not want to compromise one of my most important values. That’s like telling a fervent Christian to stop believing in Jesus a few days a week and believe in some other prophet.

Second, I want to eat organic as much as I can and I want to be with someone who feels the same. I want her to be equally or more excited to go to an organic restaurant as I am. I want her to crave or love pressed organic juice as much as I do. I want her to think about buying organic produce the night before so we can wake up and make our own organic juice in the morning.

There is not a shadow of a doubt that this is the type of relationship I want. Going back to my original question – am I being too rigid about the kind of woman I want to date?

After thinking about it long and hard, I have come to a few conclusions. One, I need to stop thinking about it as being rigid. I need to look at it as being very clear about what I want and what will make me happy. No, I am not being too rigid. It is just very apparent and obvious about what I want. If I weren’t as “rigid”, I know that I would end up in a relationship where problems would definitely ensue. And, what good is that?

The other thing that I need to understand is that if this woman or relationship is not in my life, there is a reason for this and I am doing something (either consciously or subconsciously) to prevent this from happening. I need to change the way I think – change the way I view myself, eliminate the negative thoughts or doubts, and spend more time living in the present moment.

I need to be who I am, not waiver in what I believe in, enjoy the NOW, focus on what I have instead of what I lack, throw it out to the Universe about what I want, and let the rest take care of itself.

In summary, I have concluded that I am not being too rigid. I am just really clear.

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Living Maxwell

Personal

Was Taking Antidepressants in College The Right Decision at the Time?

This is a very complex question that my father and I discuss from time to time. He insists that it was the right decision for me to go on it and doesn’t regret it at all. He also thinks I should never have gone off antidepressants when I did in 2001.  He and my mother were adamantly against this decision.

For me, the question of whether going on antidepressants was the right decision brings up many thoughts and additional questions.

* As I talked about in my last post related to this subject, there were tremendous and disastrous repercussions for going on Prozac. There is no doubt about it.

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A message from Tradin Organic

How Tradin Organic is Helping Coconut Farmers in The Philippines

For more than a decade, Tradin Organic has been working with local partners in The Philippines to bring a diversified range of organic products to the market, such as coconut oil, tropical fruits and even cocoa.

The company is helping to support local farmers by assisting them with technical support and organic certification, in addition to paying Fairtrade premium on top of the organic premium.

Learn more.

Living Maxwell

Personal

How Organic Food Played a Crucial Role in My Decision to Quit 11 Years of Antidepressants

In the summer of 2001 and at the urging of my then-girlfriend, I went for an appointment to go see her naturopathic doctor in New York City, the place where we were both living at the time.

Having done acupuncture since high school, I had always been open to alternative medicine and was curious what this woman could do for me.

During our session, she asked me about all of my health and dietary habits – eating, drinking, smoking, drugs, exercise. Everything. In the midst of this conversation, the topic of organic food somehow arose. I remember that I had some notion about what organic food was but wasn’t overly familiar with it.

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Living Maxwell

Personal

Do I Ever Cheat?

Last week, I was asked by a friend of mine if I ever cheat.

No, she was not asking if I ever cheat on women but rather wanted to know if I ever cheat on my diet.

While I was taken aback by the question and didn’t have an immediate answer, she followed up with “Don’t you ever eat a doughnut?”

“No, I never eat doughnuts,” I quickly responded. That was an easy one to figure out. The thought of putting a Krispy Kreme into my body never ever enters my mind.

The larger question about cheating, however, really got me thinking and this is what I came up with.

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livingmaxwell: a guide to organic food & drink